I’m hung up on this forgiveness thing, aren’t you?
In fact, I’d say that Jesus’ teaching about forgiveness is probably the teaching I most often and strongly argue with Jesus about. For years now, I have been urging Jesus to just get rid of it. It is the most unreasonable of all his teachings. Someone hurts me and I am supposed to forgive – and forget – and just let it go.
Forgive me, but I just don’t buy it.
And I think there’s strong evidence that most Christians pretty much ignore Jesus’ teaching about forgiveness. For instance, one of the major complaints about the Christian Church today is that it is not very forgiving, and instead is full of judgment and condemnation. As one of the characters in a Philip Yancey book says to a friend who suggests she go to church to get help for her problems, “Why would I ever go there? I was already feeling terrible about myself. They’d just make me feel worse.”
Now that’s a great point! It helps us understand why the fastest growing movement in the Church today is the Church Alumni Association – people who grew up in the Church but have drifted away because the Church no longer speaks their language and often sits in judgment over their lives. You see, the Church as a whole doesn’t really buy the forgiveness thing either.
And maybe the Church Alumni Association, along with the words of that woman who wouldn’t turn to the Church for help, help us understand the importance of the parable Jesus tells us today in Matthew 18. Let me put it in a more modern setting.
The bank calls a certain homeowner to come in and pay up his mortgage. It’s one of those sub-prime, adjustable deals for a kazillion-dollar house in California. The deal sounded great when the homeowner signed up, but now the balloon is due and there’s no one willing to refinance because Fannie and Freddie are in trouble. Get the picture?
So the man goes down to the banker and falls on his knees!! Right there in front of everybody in the bank lobby, he grovels. “Be patient with me!” he cries. “I just need a little more time and I’ll pay you back every red cent!”
Are there any bankers here today? You’ll love this next part.
The banker – seeing this pitiful sight of this broken man down on his knees in the bank lobby, sobbing, begging, pleading for mercy – is moved. And being a good, loving, Christian, member of Tellico Village Community Church, the banker remembers a sermon Marty once preached about forgiveness! And in one, impulsive moment of potentially career-ending compassion, the banker takes the mortgage and writes across it, “CANCELED.”
Well, you can imagine the reaction of the man whose debt has been forgiven! There in the bank lobby, he does a series of cartwheels, backflips, and then goes around kissing all the tellers, the security guards, other bank customers, and most especially, the loving, forgiving banker who has set him free!
And he bounds out the door of the bank, clicking his heels, singing “Amazing Grace, How Sweet the Sound!” as he goes home. But…just before going through the gate of his now debt-free-kazillion-dollar house, he spots his neighbor George who borrowed five-dollars from him at the local Starbucks three weeks ago because George was a little short on cash. But George hasn’t paid him back yet. And it’s been THREE weeks! So he bounds across the street, jumps on old George’s back, wrestles him to the ground, puts a choke hold on him and screams, “PAY UP, GEORGE! PAY BACK WHAT YOU OWE ME!”
And George – when he finally breaks free – falls onto his knees and sobbing profusely, begs, “Be patient with me! I just need a little time! I’ll pay you back the five-dollars I owe you!”
But the man refuses. Instead, he goes down to the courthouse and he files a complaint. And the judge orders ol’ George to be thrown in prison until he pays the debt in full.
But it just so happens that one of the bank tellers is at the courthouse that day renewing her car registration during her lunch hour. And she sees all this. She rushes back to the bank and tells the banker. And he rescinds his decision to forgive the man’s debt, and rushes down to the courthouse and has that man thrown not only into jail, but into the torture chamber until every last penny is paid back.
And then Jesus hits us with this whammy, “My Father is like that banker! And this is how my Father will treat YOU, unless you forgive from the heart.”
Don’t you just hate this story?
But what’s Jesus trying to teach us here? It must be pretty important because Jesus teaches on this subject of forgiveness more than almost any other subject. It’s almost as if Jesus is telling us you can’t attain to a truly high quality of life – you can’t truly live as a Christian – unless you get this!
Many of us – when we think of forgiveness – think of it through the filter of behavior – of sin. The first thing that comes into our mind when we talk about forgiveness is what the other person has done to us. When Jesus tells us we have to forgive, we think about those who have sinned against us, and what they did to us, and the wounds we suffered. And we get caught up in our hurt, and our anger, and our fear.
But I think Jesus is asking us to look at this subject from a different angle. Forgiveness is not really about what people DO. It is more about who people ARE.
It is not so much about our behavior as it is about our CHARACTER.
I once heard Warren Buffet say something that really struck me. I’m not even sure anymore what exactly he was referring to, but at one point in the interview, Buffet offered up a quote from Oscar Wilde, the Irish poet and playwright. Here’s the quote:
“Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future.” – Oscar Wilde
I hope you’ll go home and write that one down, and hang it on the refrigerator where you’ll see it every day.
“Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future.”
These words capture the very essence of what forgiveness is all about. It is about knowing who WE are as followers of Jesus Christ and relating to others as such.
Let me ask you – which of the two are you? A saint? Or a sinner? Let’s take a poll. If you are a saint, raise your right hand. If you are a sinner, raise your left hand.
Oh my! We’re loaded up with sinners today!
Let me ask the question again, but this time I want you to know what a saint really is. Saints in the Bible are not extraordinary miracle workers or super-Christians like Mother Theresa. Saints are not those who are elected to the Church’s All-Star Team.
No, saints in the Bible are simply sinners who have been forgiven.
So now let’s see how many of you are saints?
If you belong to Jesus you are a saint because you can only come to the Lord through the cross where Jesus paid the price for our sins. The only way into the kingdom of God is through forgiveness. You and I have been forgiven. Our debt has been cancelled.
But here’s the problem with us saints. Sometimes we forget who we are and where we came from. And so we look out at the world and at other people not through the eyes of the mercy we have received, but rather through the eyes of the very judgment we ourselves have been saved from through the grace of God.
But every saint has a past.
Abraham and Sarah had a past that was loaded with human imperfection and sin. King David had a past that was not very pretty. St. Paul had a past as the murderous Saul who sought to destroy the young Christian Church by having its members arrested and killed.
Every saint has a past.
YOU have a past.
There is not one of us here today who was not born helpless into this world. Long before you learned to speak a word, you could only babble incoherently. Long before you learned to walk, you fell down trying. Long before you were capable of giving love, you were totally self-centered and when your diaper was wet you let everybody know that there was going to be hell to pay if they didn’t come and change it RIGHT NOW!
Every saint has a very human past. You have made mistakes – some of them innocent, some of them not. You have told lies – to others as well as to yourself. You have done what you ought not to have done, and have not done what you ought to have done. Your life – my life – all of our lives are marked by weakness, imperfection, and sin.
Every saint has a past.
And that means every sinner has a future!
So forgiveness is more than just setting aside hurtful acts. It is the belief that God holds out HOPE for all of us, and then living TOWARD that hope, relating to others THROUGH that hope! And it is only when we live toward that belief that every sinner has a future that we can become forgiving people and the world around us can be transformed.
In the beautiful hills of Pennsylvania, a devout group of Christian people lived a simple life without automobiles, electricity, or modern machinery. They worked hard and lived quiet, peaceful lives separate from the world. Most of their food came from their own farms. The women sewed and knit and weaved their clothing, which is modest and plain. They are known as the Amish people.
Years ago, a 32-year-old milk truck driver lived with his family in their Nickel Mines community. He was not Amish, but his pickup route took him to many Amish dairy farms, where he became known as the quiet milkman. On October 2, 2006 he suddenly lost all reason and control. In his tormented mind he blamed God for the death of his first child and some other terrible memories. He stormed into an Amish school without any provocation, released the boys and adults, and tied up the 10 girls. He shot the girls, killing five and wounding five. Then he took his own life.
This shocking violence caused great anguish among the Amish. How would they react? What would they do? What would YOU do?
They forgave.
Collectively, they began to reach out to the milkman’s suffering family. As the milkman’s family gathered in his home the day after the shootings, an Amish neighbor came over, wrapped his arms around the father of the dead gunman, and said, “We will forgive you.”
Amish leaders visited the milkman’s wife and children to extend their sympathy, their forgiveness, their help, and their love.
About half of the mourners at the milkman’s funeral were Amish. In turn, the Amish invited the milkman’s family to attend the funeral services of the girls who had been killed. A remarkable peace settled on the Amish as their faith sustained them during this crisis.
One local resident very eloquently summed up the aftermath of this tragedy when he said, “We were all speaking the same language, and not just English, but a language of caring, a language of community, [and] a language of service. And, yes, a language of forgiveness.”
The family of the milkman who killed the five girls released the following statement to the public:
“To our Amish friends, neighbors, and local community:
Our family wants each of you to know that we are overwhelmed by the forgiveness, grace, and mercy that you’ve extended to us. Your love for our family has helped to provide the healing we so desperately need. The prayers, flowers, cards, and gifts you’ve given have touched our hearts in a way no words can describe. Your compassion has reached beyond our family, beyond our community, and is changing our world, and for this we sincerely thank you.
Please know that our hearts have been broken by all that has happened. We are filled with sorrow for all of our Amish neighbors whom we have loved and continue to love. We know that there are many hard days ahead for all the families who lost loved ones, and so we will continue to put our hope and trust in the God of all comfort, as we all seek to rebuild our lives.”
More important than our anger, more important than our desire for revenge, is our vision for the world. Is it a vision in which people are condemned for all that we are not, or a vision that we are offered grace for all that we can become?
The answer to that question is found in the life of Jesus Christ who gave his life to cancel our debt. That answer is what we are called out to live every day of our lives.
Every saint has a past. Every sinner has a future.
Go this week and live as Jesus lived.
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