There’s a lot of talk in our world today about family values. Perhaps the loudest talk about this is taking place among conservative Christian groups that are calling for a return to “biblical” family values.

I personally hope we don’t go back to those!

Biblical families, you know, were usually comprised of a husband – and a wife – and a wife – and a wife…and a concubine – or two – or three – and all their whacky dysfunctional children who hated each other’s guts and killed each other over the inheritance once the old man was dead!

I don’t want to go back to that! Do you?

Biblical marriages, you know, were allowed to be dissolved if the husband found anything displeasing about his wife.

Anything.

“Tuna noodle casserole again? Out!”

The husband could three times say, “I divorce you. I divorce you. I divorce you.” And that was it. The marriage was over. The wife – and usually the children – were then sent away with no support, no nothing. This is one of the reasons there were so many prostitutes among the people of the biblical family of God. It was the only way many women could survive and feed their kids. Anybody want to go back to that? I don’t.

Children born illegitimately were not allowed entry into the Temple, and not only them, but their descendants up to ten generations. Anybody reading this musing conceived or born out of wedlock? Don’t raise your hand! I just want you to know you couldn’t be here if we practiced biblical family values. Even Jesus would not be allowed into the Temple if the family values of the bible were universally enforced in his day.

And speaking of children – stubborn and rebellious children were to be taken to the elders at the gate of the town, handed over, and stoned to death. My best boyhood friend Dennis Astrella and I wouldn’t have lasted a day!

Biblical family values. How selective we are when choosing which ones to regard and which ones to ignore, which ones to obey and which ones to violate. Why do you think that is? Perhaps the reason is that many of us have never really come to grips with the actual family values Jesus established for his family – the Church:

Loved…we become loving.

Forgiven…we are forgiving.

Connected…we connect with others in their suffering.

Those are some of the values of the family of God. And they flow out of a larger value that Paul so beautifully describes in the words of Philippians 2:

“If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded – having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfishness or conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.”

This passage describes the central value of living as Jesus’ family. Do you see what it is at it’s core?

Live like Jesus.

Love like Jesus.

Have the same spirit and purpose of Jesus.

That’s our family value.