Let’s set aside terrorism for a moment. And let’s suspend for a few seconds our much-needed debate about gun control laws.
Instead, let’s give our full attention to “the gay” part of what happened at The PULSE nightclub Orlando.
Because it was a “gay thing” – a brutal attack aimed specifically at LGBTQ people.
I have a theory that may or may not have merit: With the news that the shooter, Omar Mateen, frequented the club, used gay dating apps, and – according to a former classmate – was himself gay, the possible specter of self-rage comes into view. It goes like this: a gay man, steeped in a homophobic ethnic culture (and perhaps a religion that preaches God’s wrath against gays), cannot accept himself for who and what he is. Despite all his attempts to “not be gay” he finds himself still drawn to other men. He returns to gay bars despite the promises he made to himself to never go again. He dates gay men and is overwhelmed by the guilt. No matter how hard he tries, he cannot escape himself. He hates himself for being gay.
There is no way out.
Except…
So he does what he did the other night. He attacks and destroys the very things he hates about himself. Dozens are wounded. 50 people are killed. He too dies…claiming on the phone that he is acting on behalf of ISIS.
Allahu akbar.
God is great.
As if he has done God a favor.
Was Omar Mateen trying to save himself from himself, and thus from the wrath of God?
We’ll never know.
But perhaps we can begin to understand that many people in our world are driven to self-hatred because of society’s inability to accept homosexuality as a normal expression of human nature – a gift from God – a part of the “Imago Divina”, the image of God. Misusing little scraps of scripture and obsolete cultural ideas of what constitutes “normal sexuality”, we unwittingly take part in a deadly conspiracy of heaping upon gay people a smothering mountain of rejection and disgust. We emotionally assassinate gay people and then blame them for their problems.
Some – thank God – are able to rise up above all this and enjoy full, productive lives. Others – sadly – tragically – are not.
I think its time to step away from the terrible life-destructive attitudes that kill the souls of our LGBTQ brothers and sisters. It is time to re-think our cultural values and religious doctrines. Most importantly, it is time to ponder anew what it means to love our neighbors as ourselves.
As for me, I will stand with the people of PULSE – and all those who are living as the people God created them to be.
Just Great Marty – thanks once again for bringing me back to faith. Miss you and your wisdom very much.
You took the thoughts right out of my mind and put the words on paper. I am so glad you think that way, too. Everyone kept saying ISIS and terrorist, so I thought I was “out in left field”. Thank you for saying, what I couldn’t put in words. Miss your wisdom. God Bless.
Marty. My mother just told me and Nathaniel about your blog. And now it is bookmarked. I can hear your voice through your written words. And am so happy to have more Marty in my life. Amen to all of this. Every single last word.
Thanks, Memily Malone! And best wishes to you and Doug!
Thank you, Marty, thank you.
You do have a wonderful gift for bringing this out of the media spin and into perspective.
Well said
Marty ~ your theory not only has merit, it has a name: internalized homophobia. When you are gay but grow up hearing the message “gay is bad” (from people and places that are important to you, like parents, other family, church, peers, and society in general), you come to hate gays because that’s what you’re taught.
Then when you realize you’re gay, it’s even worse. You have something rotten inside of you. You hate yourself. And– here’s the key– you come to believe that by fighting the gays outside yourself, you are fighting the gay inside yourself.
https://www.quora.com/LGBTQI-Rights-Why-do-homophobic-people-sometimes-turn-out-to-be-gay-themselves
Thanks for sharing that, Aline!
Marty. I do like your spin on the regilious side of the attack at the Pulse nightclub and I believe you may have proved reasonable doubt but I have to think that we as a whole don’t hate the Gay community as such a degree that you mentioned. I choose to believe the shooter was just a crazed man that chose that platform for attention which in the end is exactly what it did. However, thank you for another thought process in the horrible act of violence. I wish we could get inside a killer’s mind to understand such rage and again look at the school and theater shootings. What pushes these people into such a dark place?